


Shoot Me Down (But I Won't Fall)

by justapotatothatwrites



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Girl Penis Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-10-31 19:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10905795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justapotatothatwrites/pseuds/justapotatothatwrites
Summary: Lexa auditions for The Voice with one real goal in mind; see if she can make it in the music industy. What she didn't count on was finding romance as well. Follow Lexa on her journey to find both romance and a place in the music industry.(Told in both Clarke and Lexa's POV)





	1. Happier

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoy this! To be completely honest I have a ton of songs I want to use in Clexa fics so this is an excuse to be able to do that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blind Auditions

Lexa walks into the waiting room carrying her guitar with cameras following her. Anya walks beside with a supportive hand holding her own. Once a member of the crew brought them backstage, Lexa’s heart started to beat a little bit faster. Once they started to hook up all the wires to her guitar, butterflies started storming around in her stomach. When a crew member called two minutes until show those butterflies started working their way up her throat.

 

“You’ll do great kid,” Anya says, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Whatever happens out there, I’ll be proud of you.” Suddenly, all of Lexa’s nervousness was wiped away because she knew that the only person in her life that mattered would be by her side through it all. Unfortunately, Anya shouted something that sounded suspiciously like ‘Go impress Clarke Griffin!’ as she was shoved in the direction of the stage by a crew member. Moment successfully broken.

 

Lexa stepped up to the microphone stand and placed the mic in delicately. She placed her fingers at the first chord and started to strum.

 

~*~

 

Clarke, Raven, Octavia, and Bellamy were talking to each other when a crew member rushed over to them to say that the next person was coming on in a minute. They all looked at each other and the competitive side in each one of them kicked in. None of them knew what this next person would sound like but if they are good, they all want them. Clarke walks back to her chair and sits down already trying to figure out what the person would look like and how their voice would sound.

 

A familiar chord pattern starts to filter through the speakers and they all look at each other mapping out game plans in their heads if this person sang well.

 

_Walking down 29 th and Park_

_I saw you in another’s arms_

_Only a month we’ve been apart_

_You look happier_

Every judge’s body’s jolted forward as the soft yet powerful voice floated through the room. The crowd started to clap along with the occasional cheer. Everyone was on edge wanted to hear more already.

 

_Saw you walk inside a bar_

_He said something to make you laugh_

_I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours_

_Yeah, you look happier, you do_

Raven looks at everyone else, shrugs and slams her hand down on the buzzer.

 

_Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you_

_But ain’t nobody love you like I do_

_Promise I will not take it personal, baby_

_If you’re moving on with someone new_

That’s all it takes for both Bellamy and Octavia to hit their buzzers. All the judges look over to Clarke, who still has yet to turn.

 

_‘Cause baby you look happier, you do_

_My friends told me one I’ll feel it too_

_And until then I smile to hide the truth_

_But I know I was happier with you_

Clarke finally looks around at the crowd who’s all on their feet by now, and presses her buzzer. The entire crowd cheers and when Clarke finally gets a look at the person singing, her breath leaves her lungs. Long brunette hair cascades over her shoulder and her high cheek bones and sharp jawline make it seem as if the girl is royalty somewhere. A small smile tugs on one side of her lips as she continues to sing the song.

 

_Sat in the corner of the room_

_Everything’s reminding me of you_

_Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier_

_Aren’t you?_

 

_Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you_

_But ain’t nobody need you like I do_

_I know that there’s others that deserve you_

_But my darling I am still in love with you_

_But I guess you look happier, you do_

_My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too_

_I could try to smile to hide the truth_

_But I know I was happier with you_

_Baby you look happier, you do_

_I knew one day you’d fall for someone new_

_But if he breaks your heart like lovers do_

_Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you_

 

As she finishes, everyone in the room is on their feet including each one of the judges, yet she exudes an air of confidence and calm without seeming arrogant. After what seems like forever, the crowd settles down and the judges can finally give feedback and then she can choose which judge she wants to go with.

 

“That was amazing!” Raven practically shouts. “Can I just ask what your name is ‘cause I want to be your first fan.”

 

The girl’s previous small smile turns into a full grin and she says, “My name’s Lexa Caraway.”

 

“Wonderful,” Bellamy interrupts before Raven can say anything else. “Like Raven says, that was amazing. You hit every note perfectly and really knew how to control the song. I know that you could go far in this competition without any coaching, but with coaching I think you could win.” The entire crowd roars at Bellamy’s words and he smiles slightly.

 

“I agree with everything Bellamy said and I can’t really add anything to it. Absolutely spectacular,” Octavia says, once again cutting Raven off before she could say anything.

 

“Alright, now that I’m calm,” Raven says, “I really do think it was marvelous. I was the first one to turn around,” she looks pointedly at Clarke who just raises her hands in defense, “so I got to how you commanded the stage. You looked like you owned the stage and it made your already excellent performance just that much better.”

 

“Thank you,” Lexa says somewhat shyly.

 

“Ok then,” Clarke says. “I turned around last but from what I saw, Raven was 100% correct. I was stunned by how well you performed the song and I’m going to say that it rivaled some of my own performances.” The crowd once again roared and it took longer than usual to settle down. Lexa’s grin that was on her face grew even more and Clarke almost forgot her train of thought. “Beautiful performance and I hope that you will choose me to help you grow.”

 

“Time to choose Lexa,” Bellamy says. The crowd falls dead silent and all eyes are on Lexa.

 

After a long moment Lexa says, “I choose Clarke.” Raven’s face falls and Bellamy and Octavia clap respectfully. Clarke jumps up from her seat and engulfs Lexa in a hug.

 

~*~

 

Lexa walks off the stage in a daze. She vaguely notices the stage crew members quickly congratulating her and unplugging her guitar before Anya bursts through the door and brings her into a bone crushing hug.

 

“I knew you’d do great,” Anya whispers into her ear. Lexa pulls away after a long moment of them just standing there hugging.

 

“So how was hugging your celebrity crush,” Anya coos as they walk out of the building.

 

“Shut up Anya,” Lexa just grumbles. “I do not have a crush on her.” They both knew it was a lie but Anya didn’t respond.

 

“Celebratory shots!” Anya calls out after a little bit, drawing a few stares from the people around them.

 

“Anya, it’s 3 in the afternoon,” Lexa deadpanned.

 

“Never stopped me before,” Anya taunts.

 

“Whatever,” Lexa solemnly agrees.

 

~*~

 

After the last audition of the day Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, and Clarke walked backstage to prepare for what was to come tomorrow. It was the last day of auditions and everyone was excited for the battle rounds.

 

“You know I’m still a bit upset that Lexa didn’t choose me,” Raven said absentmindedly.

 

“Don’t be upset because I’m so much better than you,” Clarke says confidently even though her heart skipped a beat at the name.

 

“So Clarke,” Raven drawls “what do you think of Lexa?”

 

“I think she’s a great singer. I just hope that she’ll have a decent personality,” Clarke says, brushing off the question because she knows what Raven is going to say.

 

“Well anyone with ears can hear that, but what do you think about her face?” Raven pries.

 

“Clarke is totally already crushing on her,” Octavia says as she walks over to them, throwing a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

 

“I am not!” Clarke protests, trying valiantly to keep her voice even.

 

“It’s in your eyes, Princess,” Bellamy adds as he struts to the group of girls. Clarke just groans at the knowing looks on their faces. She just swings her purse over her shoulder and walks out of the building reveling in the sputtering coming from her friends.

 

Clarke gets her driver to take her over to her apartment and as expected Octavia and Raven show up just minutes later, not giving her any chance to find peace.

 

“Ok spill!” Octavia exclaims as she jumps on the couch as lays her legs on Clarke’s lap.

 

“What do you want me to say?” Clarke says, once again just trying to get away from the conversation.

 

“Would you sit on her face?” Raven asks bluntly.

 

“Well, sure, I guess,” Clarke stammers. Raven’s smirk grows wider and Octavia’s eyes grow large.

 

“I totally would too, don’t get me wrong,” Raven starts, “But I won’t go after her.”

 

“We don’t even know if she likes girls, so everyone calm down,” Octavia interrupts before the conversation can go any further.

 

“Are you kidding me?” Raven asks incredulous. “During her performance she kept glancing over to Clarke’s chair and then smiled when Clarke turned around!”

 

Clarke felt a flutter of hope in her chest before promptly squashing it. “She probably smiled when I turned around because she got all four judges to turn around. And she probably looked at all of us equally, you were just too busy convincing me with your eyes to get me turn around to notice.”

 

“I guess we’ll see tomorrow when battle round preparations begin,” Raven smiled deviously.

 

“I guess so,” Clarke said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Happier by Ed Sheeran. Find me on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justapotatothatwrites :)


	2. Somebody I Used to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Battle Rounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this! I got a couple people asking for me to make this into a G!P fic so I did that, however I think only some flasback and the song coices will be affected by it. I don't really know if I want to write any smut because I haven't ever done it before and I don't think I'd be really good at it. However, if enough of you want it I may put it in. If I were to put it in it would probably be in the last chapter.

Clarke spent more time than was absolutely necessary in hair and make-up before going to the practice room to coach Lexa and a guy named Finn. She’d paired them together because while she thought Finn was good (not as good as Lexa), she thought he could hold his own against her. She walked into the room to see them talking politely. Clarke clenched her jaw and took a deep breath, preparing for an entire day in a small room with Lexa… and Finn.

 

“Hey guys,” She said, cheerfully. Both Finn and Lexa’s heads snapped up to greet her with wide smiles.

 

“Hello Clarke,” Lexa said, and Clarke shivered at the way her mouth clicked the k.

 

“Hi,” Finn says. Clarke just acknowledges him with a head nod.

 

“So I was thinking about what songs we could do and I really think _Someone I Used to Know_ by Goyte ft. Kimbra would really compliment your voices. The thing is, Lexa wouldn’t start singing until the song was already halfway finished. What I want you guys to do is harmonize for the first part and then Finn could do the rest of where Goyte would usually sing and Lexa could just pick up where Kimbra starts. That way, you guys have equal singing time. Sound good?”

 

“That’s fine with me,” Finn says.

 

Lexa hesitated before quickly saying “Ok.”

 

~*~

 

The song that they were singing was one that Lexa was very familiar with and brought up bad memories, unfortunately. Lexa forced herself through it and poured all of her emotions into performing the song.

 

What she found more irritating than the memories the song brought up was Finn. Finn was as character, to say the least. He would shamelessly flirt with both Lexa and Clarke, and it was starting to get on both girls’ nerves. While Clarke didn’t tell him off, Lexa noticed that whenever he would throw a flirty remark Lexa’s way she would clench her jaw like if she didn’t she’d end up yelling at him.

 

After eight long hours of work, Clarke told them both to go to wherever they were staying. Lexa just sighed, disappointment flooding throughout her body. Lexa could tell that if Clarke spent any more time with Finn, she would punch him. She had to mentally stop herself for wishing that she just would’ve but that didn’t stop the fact that Lexa thought she had the advantage going into it because of Finn’s incessant behavior.

 

Lexa walked back to the hotel room that was only a few blocks away and flopped face-first into her bed. Anya walked out of the bathroom without a shirt on and a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth and just rolled her eyes before going back in to the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth.

 

“So how’d it go?” Anya asks, unceremoniously jumping onto Lexa’s still form.

 

“It went ok,” Lexa said into the pillow.

 

“It doesn’t look like it went ok,” Anya says, finally rolling off her and onto the other side of the bed.

 

Lexa sits up and gazes at Anya with hazy eyes. “She chose to do _Somebody I Used to Know_.”

 

“Oh Lexa,” Anya says, sympathetically. Anya just rubs Lexa’s back while she quietly cries into her t-shirt.

 

**_Flashback to Junior Year:_ **

 

_“Lexa I just can’t be with you,” Costia says exasperadedly._

_“But why Costia?” Lexa questions, voice wavering. “I love you.”_

_“And I can’t love you Lexa. You’re different and I just want someone normal,” Costia says, almost indifferently._

_“I thought we could work through this,” Lexa says, tears falling out of her eyes and slipping down her cheeks._

_“Lexa, I know you will find someone who loves you for who you are, but I am not that person. I love you Lexa, but I can’t love you the way you want me to,” Costia says._

_“You knew going into this what I was like, you can’t just quit after a year,” Lexa replies, almost begging._

_“I thought I could deal with it, Lexa. I thought I could love every part of you but I can’t love that… part,” Costia says, hesitating on the last word as if it was something that shouldn’t be spoken of. Costia leaves after that, without another word. She doesn’t turn around to see Lexa falling to the ground in tears, heart crumbling into hundreds of pieces. After that, Lexa couldn’t look Costia in the eye, even though they were in the same friend group. Costia acted like the year they were dating didn’t even happen and none of their friends ever brought it up._

After what seemed like an hour of crying, Lexa fell asleep in Anya’s embrace, who just sighed and smiled sadly down at her friend. After what happened with Costia, Anya was even more protective than normal. She never wanted to see Lexa like she was in the months after Costia leaving her. Right after Costia broke up with Lexa, Anya went over to house to talk to her, only to find her in bed with Nia Queen. Anya never told Lexa this because she knew it would turn her heart to ash, but she did say a lot of things to Costia that she would never have repeated to anyone else.

 

“Do you have food?” Lexa mumbled into Anya’s chest, shaking her out of her thoughts. She was still clutching at her shirt and Anya knew she wouldn’t get away from her unless Lexa was okay with her getting up.

 

Anya gave a short laugh that rumbled in her chest and just said, “Yes, but you’ll have to stop latching onto my shirt like a koala.”

 

“Sorry,” Lexa said before unleashing Anya from her arms and grabbing a pillow.

 

“Don’t be. Even the Commander needs a good cry,” Anya teases, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere. Lexa just huffs a laugh before looking at Anya with misty eyes.

 

“Thank you An. For everything,” Lexa adds.

 

“Don’t mention it. You’re like family to me, Lex. I will always be there for you,” Anya says genuinely, bringing Lexa into a loving embrace.

 

~*~

 

Clarke was having a hard time focusing during the practice session. Between Finn’s never-ending flirty remarks and Lexa’s amazing voice she almost forgot that she had to coach them. She did notice that Lexa seemed to pour a lot of emotion into the song and she wondered if something like the song had happened to her in her life. Every time Finn flirted with Lexa, Clarke would clench her jaw and refuse to say anything. It was hard, because she didn’t know if Lexa was ignoring him because she wasn’t into him or because she was gay. Clarke desperately hoped for the latter.

 

When Clarke told them to just keep practicing for the next week she internally groaned because she knew that she wouldn’t she Lexa for at least another seven days. She gets her driver to take her home to where Octavia and Raven already were, waiting for her to spill her guts to them.

 

“So, Clarke,” Raven drawls from where she’s laying on the couch. “How was your day with Lexa?”

 

“Yeah you have to tell us all the details,” Octavia follows up quickly.

 

“We just practiced. Besides, Finn was there so I couldn’t exactly make a move on her if I wanted to,” Clarke grumbles before slamming her mouth shut. Octavia and Raven and are wearing identical shit-eating smirks and Clarke knows that she has just opened Pandora’s Box.

 

“That suggests that you want to make a move on her,” Raven says.

 

“Yes! Okay, yeah. Fine. Lexa’s really pretty and really sweet and has an amazing voice,” Clarke says exasperatedly.

 

“What are you going to do once the competition is over?” Octavia asks innocently.

 

“I don’t know,” Clarke says, frustrated. “She’s going to be famous, I can feel it, so maybe I could try to hang out with her or something. I don’t really know.”

 

“When the episode comes out tomorrow you can see how people react to her and then we’ll figure out what to do,” Raven says, trying to be at least a little bit comforting. “So you admit you want to pet her kitty?” She asks just to get a rise out of Clarke.

 

“Raven!”

 

~*~

 

The day after the blind audition episode came out, Lexa seemed to already have gotten famous. She went into a Starbucks to get some coffee and the barista recognized her from The Voice. She was on an afternoon run when a little girl ran over to her and sheepishly asked for an autograph. She also took a couple pictures with her and was rewarded with a blinding smile from the girl and a thank you from her father.

 

Anya laughed in her face when Lexa recalled these events to her while Lexa just watched her with a disgruntled expression.

 

“Kid, you’re amazing. Of course you are going to get famous.”

 

“One, I’m not a kid. Two, I may be good but I didn’t expect it to be this instant.”

 

“Lex, people love you,” Anya says.

 

“They won’t like me when they find out,” Lexa whispers. It’s points like this where Lexa wishes she could have better self-esteem and be able to flaunt who she is but after Costia left her, all her confidence was turned to ash and blew away like the leaves during fall.

 

“Oh Lexa,” Anya says softly. “You may get some hate if you do tell everyone, but I know there are more people that would be supportive of you if you did. If you think that you are ready to tell the world about Little Lexa, I think you should.”

 

“She is not little,” Lexa grumbled, but was already feeling better.

 

“Whatever Lex. Just do whatever you want. Don’t let judgmental assholes dictate how you live your life.”

 

“I love you An,” Lexa says after a pause.

 

“Love you too, Lex.”

 

~*~

 

It was the day of Lexa and Finn’s battle and Clarke was nervous for Lexa. She wanted everything to be as perfect as she was. _Wait, what?_

“Clarke, you ready?” Bellamy calls out, ripping Clarke away from her inner-monologue.

 

“Yeah sure, give me a sec.” True to her word, a second later Clarke was out of her dressing room, walking to her chair.

 

“You excited Princess?” Raven asks, making Clarke roll her eyes. “Today’s Lexa’s battle so I know that you’re more excited than normal.”

 

“Raven just please drop it,” Clarke says before the stage lights up and the audience starts cheering.

 

“Today on The Voice we have contestants from Clarke’s team going at it in the Battle Round. First up are Lexa Caraway,” The announcer says, before the building was overtaken in cheers. “and Finn Collins.” The crowd cheers again, albeit a little less enthusiastically. They walk out onto the stage and face away from each other in the dark. All of the audience members are on the edge of their seats when the music starts to play.

 

_Now and then I think of when we were together_  
_Like when you said you felt so happy you could die_  
_Told myself that you were right for me_  
_But felt so lonely in your company_  
_But that was love and it's an ache I still remember_

Lexa turns and stalks up to Finn and almost reaches him before spinning away and singing to the audience. Finn doesn’t move as much and seems genuinely intimidated by Lexa’s commanding presence but his solo part is coming up so he pulls out some courage and turns to face the audience as well.

 

_You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness_  
_Like resignation to the end, always the end_  
_So when we found that we could not make sense_  
_Well you said that we would still be friends_  
_But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over_

_But you didn't have to cut me off_  
_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_  
_And I don't even need your love_  
_But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough_  
_No you didn't have to stoop so low_  
_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_  
_I guess that I don't need that though_  
_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_  
_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_  
_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_

 

Lexa started singing right as Finn’s last line ended and the crowd roared. Clarke could see tears welling up in her eyes and all she wanted to do was comfort Lexa and shield her from whatever was making her hurt.

 

_Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over_  
_But had me believing it was always something that I'd done_  
_And I don't wanna live that way_  
_Reading into every word you say_  
_You said that you could let it go_  
_And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know_

_But you didn't have to cut me off_  
_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_  
_And I don't even need your love_  
_But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough_  
_No you didn't have to stoop so low_  
_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_  
_I guess that I don't need that though_  
_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_  
_Somebody, I used to know_  
_(Somebody) Now you're just somebody that I used to know_  
_Somebody, I used to know_  
_(Somebody) Now you're just somebody that I used to know_  
_I used to know, that I used to know, I used to know somebody_

 

As Lexa finishes she lets one stray tear slip out of her eye and down her cheek before hastily wiping away. The crowd was roaring and everyone in the building was one their feet.

 

“That was amazing,” the announcer states. “Let’s start with comments from Bellamy.”

 

“That was outstanding. Lexa; you commanded the stage and sang fantastically. Finn; you did very well. You seemed to have improved lot from Clarke’s guidance and I wish you both the best of luck.”

 

“That was great guys, really. I don’t have words for it. Lexa, like Bellamy said, you commanded the stage. You hit every note perfectly and I could feel the emotion flowing off of you. Finn, did very well also. Great job, both of you,” Octavia says.

 

“Holy crap balls guys!” Raven exclaims. “That was fantabulous. Yes, I just said that. Anyways, I really thought both of you did well. Good luck choosing Clarke.”

 

“I agree with all of them. This will be hard,” Lie. “but I want both of you to know that I enjoyed working with you.” Another lie. “The winner of this battle is,” a short pause as Clarke gazes at both contests who are standing still and watching her. “Lexa.” The crowd erupts into cheers and it takes a while to get them to calm down.

 

“Any words for your coach, Finn?” The announcer asks Finn, who looks positively infuriated.

 

“Thank you for coaching me. It was my honor,” He says stiffly and when it’s clear he’s finished the audience gives a polite applause as he is escorted off the stage. Clarke comes up to give Lexa a hug before she is taken backstage as well.

 

~*~

 

Like in the Blind Auditions, Lexa walks off the stage in a daze. While she isn’t completely surprised at winning, Finn was a douche, she was still elated. Just like the last time she performed Anya burst through the door and pulled Lexa into a hug. It wasn’t as long as the one before, however it was just as meaningful.

 

“You should have seen his face when Clarke called your name,” Anya cackled. “He was fuming.”

 

“I agree that he could’ve taken a bit more lightly, but I’m not going to make fun of him, unlike some people,” Lexa retorted.

 

“Whatever. I’m going to make fun of him enough for the two of us anyways.” Lexa just hummed in affirmation just loud enough for Anya to hear her and they walked out of the building and to the hotel to celebrate.

 

~*~

 

“Clarke,” Raven whined as they walked to the limo that was waiting outside the building.

 

“Yes Raven?” Clarke questioned.

 

“You totally have a crush on Lexa. You know that’s giving her an unfair advantage.”

 

“Ok yeah, maybe I have a crush on Lexa. That doesn’t mean that it will impair my ability to judge her fairly,” Clarke sighs, growing tired of Raven and her constant pestering.

 

“Yeah you’ll only zone out imagining how talented that mouth is in other ways,” Raven says throwing a knowing smirk at Clarke.

 

“Shut up Raven!” Clarke yelps, flushing bright red. Raven just laughs at her friend’s embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Somebody I Used to Know by Goyte (ft. Kimbra). Find me on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justapotatothatwrites :).


	3. Not In That Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knockout Rounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I made up for taking so long to upload this. Some stuff got in the way. However, I hope you all really enjoy reading this chapter. (Lexa battling against Clarke's suitors to get her heart is the best)

Lexa woke up the next day feeling rejuvenated and ready to get back into it. She already had her song choice picked out and she was ready to blow everyone away. Everyone being Clarke though she didn’t want to admit it to herself.

 

She groaned and rolled off the soft warmth that was the hotel bed. She put on a sports bra, compression shorts, and some shorts and went down to go out on her run. She started off on the route that she had adapted over the two weeks of being in LA but quickly realized that there were a lot more people looking at her than usual. Slowing down to a slow jog, she quickly peered around at the faces that were unabashedly staring at her. Lexa just shook her head quizzically before speeding up again.

 

As she reached the hotel again, she was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable with the way so many people were looking at her. Before Costia broke up with her, she was rather confident with her body, despite not being ‘normal’. Afterwards though, she wore baggy clothes to hide her body, ashamed of who she was and how she was born. Slowly, she had started to gain her confidence again, mostly due to Anya’s insistence that she go to the gym every day and the constant reassurance that she was perfect the way she was.

 

So, to say that what seemed like the majority of LA was staring at her wasn’t unnerving was a lie. She felt put under a microscope. She felt like she was being examined and picked apart.

 

When she got up to her room, she took a quick shower, threw on some new clothes and went to where she would be practicing for the week. She recognized the person she’d be going against was a girl named Nylah.

 

“Hey,” Lexa said, alerting the people in the room of her presence.

 

“Oh hey Lexa,” Clarke said, cheerily.

 

“Hello,” Nylah said, narrowing her eyes in Lexa’s direction, sizing up her competition.

 

“So we’ll start with Nylah practicing the song she chose and then Lexa you can go, okay?” Clarke asks.

 

“Sounds good,” Lexa replies with a small grin.

 

“Fine with me,” Nylah agreed.

 

After what seemed like hours of correcting and small revisions, Nylah was pretty much all ready to go. Clarke sent her off with a smile and a wave. She then looked to Lexa, expectantly. Lexa stood quickly and grabbed an electric guitar from where it was sitting over to the side. She starting picking the notes and singing.

 

~*~

 

Clarke was gaping at her as the song finished. She had noticed that Lexa had started crying halfway through the song but she didn’t say anything about it. Lexa’s voice cracked around some words as if they were choking her, but it just added to the how raw the song felt. A single tear fell out of Clarke’s eye when the final note died out and Lexa wiped away the tears on her cheeks.

 

“That was beautiful, Lexa,” Clarke whispered reverently.

 

Lexa chuckled slightly and muttered, “Thank you, Clarke.”

 

“I don’t think that needs any real advice or coaching. It felt so real and so raw that it made me cry,” Clarke said, running her hand across her face quickly. Lexa just grinned at the girl in front of her with watery eyes.

 

“Can I have your number?” Clarke asked Lexa before her brain could catch up with her mouth. Lexa just cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy. “Just so we could like talk or whatever,” She says, face quickly heating up as she rambled.

 

“Sure,” Lexa says, effectively cutting off Clarke’s rambling. Lexa walks over to where her bag is sitting and bends over to look for her phone. Clarke mentally berates herself for staring at Lexa as she did so and looks away before Lexa can catch her for looking.

 

“Here,” Lexa says, handing Clarke her phone. Clarke fumbles with her own phone for a second, much to Lexa’s amusement, before handing it to the girl patiently standing in front of her. They both enter their phone numbers before shyly handing back each other’s phones.

 

“Do want to grab lunch with Bell, Rae, O, and me?” Clarke asks hesitantly.

 

“Sure. That sounds fun,” Lexa replies.

 

“Alright just give me a second to grab my stuff and text them.”

 

“No problem.”

 

~*~

 

Major problem. _Major problem._ Lexa’s inner monologue repeats in her head. _Now you have to spend time with her and her friends without making a complete ass of yourself._

 

“Let’s go!” Clarke calls out cheerily, oblivious to Lexa’s thoughts. Lexa just pads along beside Clarke as they walk to ‘the best diner in LA’ while Clarke chatters on about things that Lexa isn’t really paying attention to in that moment because _wow her hair is practically sparkling in the sun._

 

“Lexa?” Clarke waves her hand in front of Lexa’s face, removing her from her Clarke-induced haze.

 

“Huh? What?”

 

“You zoned out there for a second. You okay?”

 

“Oh. Yes! Yeah. I’m fine,” Lexa says, hastily.

 

“Ok nerd,” Clarke replies teasingly before practically dragging her into the diner where Raven, Octavia, and Bellamy were already waiting.

 

“I didn’t know you were bringing company, Princess,” Bellamy prods, causing a faint blush to paint Clarke’s cheek which Lexa definitely _does not find completely adorable._

 

“It was a sudden thing,” Clarke grumbles.

 

“Yeah,” Lexa says, backing Clarke up.

 

“So Lexa,” Raven drawls, ignoring the frantic shaking of Clarke’s head. “are you a homophobic asshole? ‘Cause if you are I’m afraid that you aren’t allowed here.”

 

“I… um,” Lexa stammered, caught off-guard by the question but quickly regained her thoughts. “Well, it’d be hypocritical if I were homophobic considering I’m about as straight as a circle. However, I can be asshole at times.”

 

The entire group was looking at her wide-eyed before Raven let out a loud bark of laughter. “Oh my God.” Raven said, tears leaking out of her eyes. “That is the best answer to that question I’ve ever heard,” Raven wheezed between her laughing. Lexa just rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

 

“Welcome to the squad Lexa,” Octavia says, after a quick giggle of her own. Both Bellamy and Clarke were still stunned by Lexa’s admission.

 

“Pay up Bell-boy,” Raven mocked. Bellamy just took out his wallet and handed Raven a twenty-dollar bill.

 

“What?” Lexa asks, thoroughly perplexed by what was happening.

 

“Raven and Bellamy had a bet to see if you were straight or not,” Octavia replies to Lexa.

 

“What?” Clarke yelped, saying her first word since Lexa came out to them.

 

“We always bet on things like this,” Raven replied, nonchalantly.

 

“You bet on my sexuality,” Lexa stated, incredulous.

 

“Yep,” Raven said, popping the p at the end.

 

“I’m so sorry about them,” Clarke said, embarrassed by what had just taken place. Surprising everyone, Lexa started laughing. It started soft but grew until she could barely breathe.

 

“Why would you bet on me being straight?” She asked between giggles. “Is it my amazing fashion sense,” Lexa questions, gesturing to her outfit which was a pair of ripped black jeans, a white tank top, a flannel wrapped around her waist, and beat up converse, “or was it my beautiful nails?” She wiggles her fingers in front of her face, showing off her clipped nails.

 

Everyone at the table laughed in Bellamy’s face while he pouted and grumbled under his breath. When everyone’s laughs tapered off, Lexa’s phone started to ring.

 

“Hello?”

 

_“Lexa?”_

“Costia?”

 

_“Yeah. Hey Lex. Look. I don’t really like how I left things with us. I was hoping that maybe we could meet up some-“_

“No.”

 

_“Lexa please. I just want to apol-“_

“You had the chance to apologize years ago Costia. You haven’t called or texted me in at least two years. Why now?”

 

_“I thought that-“_

“Wait. You thought that you could use me get you famous. Oh my God, Costia. How shallow are you? You broke up with me after a year because of something I couldn’t change that you knew about going into our relationship. Then you pretend that, that year never happened. Now. Now, you are trying to use me to get some contacts in Hollywood. You know what Costia? Go fuck yourself. Never call me again. If you do, I will block you.” With that, Lexa hung up the phone abruptly and dropped her head into her hands.

 

Raven started to clap slowly before Octavia punched her in the shoulder to get her to stop.

 

“What was that?” Clarke asked softly.

 

Lexa raises her head to look at the people at the table who were looking at her questioningly. “My ex. I think that she saw that I’m doing well on The Voice and wanted to get me to get her to high class Hollywood parties and shit like that,” Lexa spat.

 

“What did you mean when you said that she broke up with you for something you couldn’t change?” Bellamy asked innocently.

 

Lexa decided to be blunt and not beat around the bush. “I’m intersex. She didn’t enjoy having a girlfriend with a dick and she broke up with me. She broke up with after a year of being together because she couldn’t cope with it.”

 

The others looked at her in silence for a log moment before Raven exclaimed, “What a bitch!” Lexa laughed at that and for the first time in a long time she felt the crushing weight of Costia’s words lighten a little.

 

“Yes. I agree with that,” Lexa said. With that they moved to lighter topics and conversation flowed easily until Octavia had to go and coach her people for their knock out round. Lexa made her way to her hotel room and jumped onto her bed with a smile on her face. She was glad that they had all been so accepting, especially Clarke, though she would never say that.

 

~*~

 

“Ok, Clarke. What are you thinking right now?” Raven asked as soon as the two girls were back in Clarke’s apartment.

 

“What do you mean?” Clarke brushed off the question.

 

“About Lexa. The fact that she has a dick? Clarke give me something here,” Raven pleaded.

 

“It doesn’t change my feelings about her if that’s what you’re asking,” Clarke says, glancing over her shoulder to see Raven’s sprawled out form on the couch.

 

Raven shot up from the couch shaking her head vehemently. “No. I know that already. Gush about your feelings Clarkey,” She whined. “Do you think she’s big?” Raven asks, wiggling her eyebrows obnoxiously.

 

“I’m probably never going to figure out so why think about it? Besides, I don’t really want to objectify her like that.”

 

“Just answer the question Clarke. I know you tried to sneak a peek. I watched you.” Clarke’s face burned with both shame and embarrassment.

 

“Ok. Yeah, fine. Maybe I tried to see if I could see anything. I know you did too, don’t lie,” Clarke admitted. “To answer your question, I think she is probably big. She’s so hot and commanding there’s no way it isn’t big.”

 

“I’d let her command me.”

 

“Raven!”

 

“Right, right. Don’t go after Griffin’s girl. Got it,” Raven said, winking at Clarke.

 

“She’s not my girl,” Clarke denied, albeit disappointedly.

 

“Not _yet_ ,” Raven stressed.

 

“She probably just sees me as her voice coach and if I’m lucky, as her friend.”

 

“Have you seen the way she looks at you? She looks at you like the sun shines out of her ass,” Raven consoles the distraught blonde.

 

“She doesn’t look at my ass,” Clarke mumbled.

 

“Yes she does. I saw her look at it when you guys were walking into the diner,” Raven says. “Also, she’s gay, so you have no reason to not go after her. Once the knockouts are over I think you should ask her out.”

 

“Thank you Raven,” Clarke says. “I think I will.”

 

“No problem,” Raven replies.

 

~*~

 

“Hey kid,” Anya calls out as she walks into the hotel room. Seeing Lexa sprawled out on the bed she rushed over. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

 

“Well, I came out to all the coaches as both intersex and gay.”

 

“Oh. How did that come about?” Anya questions, treading lightly.

 

“Costia called me,” Lexa replied and Anya tensed. “She wanted to meet up again. I figured that it was only because she wanted to gain access to celebrities through me if I get famous, so I told her to go fuck herself and then hung up the phone.”

 

“I’m proud of you, Lex,” Anya said. “So how did they take it?”

 

“They were actually really nice about it. They didn’t ask any questions so I was thankful about that. They were all really accepting. It felt nice,” Lexa sighed and leaned back into the pillow with a small smile on her face.

 

“Well that’s good. I’m going to go get food. Want any?”

 

“No thanks.”

 

“Cool. Later nerd,” Anya called out, walking out the door.

 

~*~

 

“Clarke calm down,” Raven said, exasperated at her friend who was pacing around the room.

 

“I am calm,” She protested meekly.

 

“You’re going wear a hole in the carpet,” Raven deadpanned.

 

“Sorry,” Clarke sighed, falling into the chair next to Raven.

 

“Why are you so nervous? You’re never this crazy.”

 

“After listening to what happened to Lexa, I finally understand her song choice. She’s just so amazing and I hate that she had to go through all of that,” Clarke finally admits.

 

“She’ll be fine, Clarke. You don’t need to worry about her.”

 

“Two minutes until the first knockout round!” A voice calls from behind the door.

 

“That’s our cue,” Raven grumbles, dropping the magazine she was skimming and striding out the door with Clarke in tow.

 

~*~

 

Lexa walked out into the ring more confident than she had been the last two times she’d performed. Her guitar was strapped to her back and the crowd roared as she stepped out. She smiled faintly at the people who were screaming her name and sat in one corner while Nylah stepped up to the microphone and started to sing.

 

Lexa could admit, Nylah was a great singer, however she didn’t have the passion and the drive that Lexa did. She sang through her song but it didn’t stand out from the rest of the people in the competition. As she finished people clapped, more enthusiastically than they had with Finn but not as much as they had with Lexa.

 

Lexa stood in front of the mic and Nylah went to her corner and sat, waiting for Lexa to begin.

 

_And I hate to say I love you_  
_When it's so hard for me_  
_And I hate to say I want you_  
_When you make it so clear_  
_You don't want me_

Lexa crooned into the mic, voice hitching ever so slightly as she sang.

 

_I'd never ask you cause deep down_  
_I'm certain I know what you'd say_  
_You'd say I'm sorry believe me_  
_I love you but not in that way_

_And I hate to say I need you_  
_I'm so reliant_  
_I'm so dependent_  
_I'm such a fool_

_When you're not there_  
_I find myself singing the blues_  
_Can't bear_  
_Can't face the truth_

_You will never know that feeling_  
_You will never see through these eyes_

She sang with passion, eyes watering with tears before blinking them away. She refused to shed any more tears for Costia.

_I'd never ask you_  
_'Cause deep down I'm certain I know what you'd say_  
_You'd say I'm sorry_  
_Believe me_  
_I love you_  
_But not in that way_

_You'd say I'm sorry_  
_Believe me_  
_I love you_  
_But not in that way_

As she finished, she finally noticed the tears in the judges’ eyes and the outrageous cheering of the crowd. It seemed as though the entire building was screaming all for Lexa. She felt euphoric. Clarke, Raven, Octavia, and Bellamy stood up and clapped as the audience cheered even louder. Lexa smiled widely and bowed her head in thanks. Nylah stood up and walked over to Lexa.

 

Squeezing her shoulder, she whispered, “That was amazing, Lexa.”

 

After a long minute, the cheering finally slowed down enough for the judges to talk. They sat back down, all of them sporting smiles themselves.

 

“Holy crap balls Lexa!” Raven pretty much yelled, much to the amusement of the crowd. “That was fricking amazing. Okay, so I’m still kind of salty you didn’t choose me to be your coach, but whatever Clarke did with you is probably better than I could’ve done. You sang with so much passion and drive. It was absolutely incredible.”

 

“I agree with Raven 100%,” Octavia said. “That was breath-taking.”

 

“Yep. No words to describe it,” Bellamy added.

 

“Jesus Lexa,” Clarke began. “I cried the first time you sang it in practice, and excuse my language, but holy fuck. That was so great. You told me about the reason that was your song choice and I just have to say that I think it was incredible. I don’t think it could’ve gotten any better. Nylah, you were great, but you were lacking the passion that Lexa has,” Clarke takes a deep breath and says, “The winner of this knockout round is Lexa.”

 

The crowd roared and Lexa hugged Nylah who walked off the stage, a bit saddened but not surprised.

 

“Congratulation, Lexa,” The commentator said. It was an obvious dismissal, they had to go onto the next knockout round and the crowd had spent way too much time cheering for Lexa. Lexa smiled and nodded, walking off the stage but not without a hug from Clarke and reassuring smiles from the other three judges.

 

Lexa stepped backstage and Anya was already waiting there with her arms out, a single tear track running down her face.

 

“That was amazing, Lexa. I’m so proud of you,” She whispered into her ear. Lexa beamed at the praise and was still smiling as they separated from their embrace.

 

“Thanks, An.”

 

~*~

 

“Clarke calm down,” Octavia said for what seemed like the millionth time. They were back in Clarke’s apartment and Clarke was once again pacing around the room.

 

“How can I calm down? She’s so amazing and I want to ask her out. On a date. A date! How am I supposed to do that?” She asked, flopping onto the couch.

 

“Babe, anyone would be ecstatic to go on a date with you,” Raven said reassuringly. “Besides, I can tell she liked you before you guys even met. She’d love to go on a date with you. Now grow some ovaries, woman up, and ask her out.”

 

“Right, right. I’m Clarke Griffin. I can do this,” Clarke repeated the mantra to herself as she dug her phone out of her pocket. She repeated it to herself as she was typing out a message.

 

**Clarke:**

_hey it’s clarke_

**Lexa:**

_Hello, Clarke._

**Clarke:**

_i was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out sometime?_

**Lexa:**

_Like a date?_

**Clarke:**

_um yeah that’s what i was hoping for_

**Lexa:**

_I’d love to._

**Clarke:**

_great. i can pick you up around 7 on saturday?_

**Lexa:**

_Sounds good to me. See you then, Clarke._

“She said yes. She said yes. She said yes,” Clarke squealed.

 

“Of course she did,” Octavia did, not looking up from her phone.

 

“Congrats, Griff,” Raven replied.

 

“Holy shit!” Clark exclaimed after a moment of smiling to herself. Raven and Octavia’s heads snapped up to look at Clarke. “Where am I going to take her?” She asked, wide-eyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Not In That Way by Sam Smith. Find my on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justapotatothatwrites :).

**Author's Note:**

> The song used in this is Happier by Ed Sheeran.


End file.
